Have you ever hit the so called rock bottom? How does one know when they actually hit rock bottom? It’s a serious question I have to wonder, because it feels like I have hit rock bottom.
Did you know.... that there is actually a definition on Merriam- Webster for rock-bottom. It’s an adjective meaning being at the very lowest. Please note, that the adjective has an adjective in the definition. So, once again, what is rock bottom.
Given the name of this blog and since this first post is about how I believe I finally hit rock bottom, well here is my new weight loss blog. But its going to be more than weight loss, its going to be REAL, me in real life, sharing my real experiences, not holding back and just letting it all out.
So before I share my rock bottom, which is only going to take a few sentences, let me at least introduce myself.
I’m Catherine Ann, I’m 27 very soon to be 28 (March 18th). I have literally lived almost my entire life overweight, uncomfortable, ashamed and depressed. I’m not one of those people that gets to talk about how I use to be skinny and in my skinny days, because lets be honest, my skinny days are when I was like 7. I have tried all sorts of plans, weight watchers, calorie counting, calorie restricting, and 5:2. I have been successful, but never able to maintain,the most I ever lost was when I counted calories and I lost about 65lbs over the course of a summer ( I still had way more to lose). So here I am, starting it again, but this time I signed up for BeachBody. Since I haven’t even gotten my starter kit, I’m just waiting and then when I learn more, I’ll share more. There still a lot to know about me, but I have a feeling that it’ll all come out slowly, because I really want to keep this blog alive, I want to succeed and I want to be healthy and actually LIVE, because I’m trapped in a 27 year old body, that has been barely surviving.
So, now that I got that out, lets talk about rock bottom. I joined a dietbet, thinking yup I can do this, I wont loose my money, I’ve just gotta get rid of 15lbs. Yeah. Well I had already decided I was failing that after the first week and a half. I’m a food addict, I overeat and I am morbidly obese. I am not proud of this, its just a matter of fact about me. So since the dietbet, I have been eat boxes of Mac and cheese (a whole box at a time), and eating pints of ice cream, getting candy, chips, and just over doing the food, thinking oh it’s just one day I can eat this entire box of delicious gooey Mac and cheese. Well here comes Friday, I had Thursday off and kicked ass cleaning, so naturally I’m going to get my Mac and cheese and I’m going to love it. Well first off, I ordered my BeachBody pack and then I was like okay, time to go to the store. I go to the dollar store and find my Mac and cheese, but I really wanted hot dogs... oh and before that i already decided I need a pint of ice cream because I couldn’t eat the one I already bought because I didn’t want my sister to know I was eating the ENTIRE thing. So now I want hot dogs, but they looked nasty, so no thanks, I’m cruising the frozen food and there are some pizza rolls, perfect, also don’t forget the soda. I go home and I whip up my box of deluxe kraft Mac and cheese, my 15 pizza rolls and my soda (Ice cream in the freezer). I start eating it, and I’m full and just cant eat like the half of cup of pasta thats left, but no worries I will find the will to shove the ice cream down because I cannot have my sister knowing that i have that and ate it. So I finish eating, do the dishes, hide the trash because there can’t be evidence (do you see this pattern) and I decided I need to shower. At this rate my stomach is hurting, I’m nauseous and not okay, but I need to work that night and i need to sleep. So what happens- I’m in the shower and I decided this isn’t going to get better, I need to puke, now I hate puking so I wouldn’t have done it if my body wasn’t telling me too, so I get out of the shower and I puke it all up, ice cream and Mac and cheese, let’s talk about disgusting and as I’m leaning over the toilet, puke splashing everywhere, I’m thinking wow Catherine, how low can you get, how much can you shove into your body before you decided that its too much. I can honestly say, I never purged before, I have binged, but never enough to make me puke, it was a first and hopefully a last.
So here we are, I have been dying to write that post, I have been harboring it in me for a couple days now. No one knows it happened, I feel utterly depressed it happened and my mental health has been struggling. Once again, here we are.... here I am... its time to make a difference.... it’s time to change because I cannot be this unhealthy anymore..... I cannot weight over 360lbs at the heights 5’2”.... I need to do better for myself..... I need to be happy, healthy and not stuck in this fat suit.
Hope you stick around, or if you are just stumbling onto this blog, hope you find something out of it.
Catherine Ann (a girl barely alive).
Did you know.... that there is actually a definition on Merriam- Webster for rock-bottom. It’s an adjective meaning being at the very lowest. Please note, that the adjective has an adjective in the definition. So, once again, what is rock bottom.
Given the name of this blog and since this first post is about how I believe I finally hit rock bottom, well here is my new weight loss blog. But its going to be more than weight loss, its going to be REAL, me in real life, sharing my real experiences, not holding back and just letting it all out.
So before I share my rock bottom, which is only going to take a few sentences, let me at least introduce myself.
I’m Catherine Ann, I’m 27 very soon to be 28 (March 18th). I have literally lived almost my entire life overweight, uncomfortable, ashamed and depressed. I’m not one of those people that gets to talk about how I use to be skinny and in my skinny days, because lets be honest, my skinny days are when I was like 7. I have tried all sorts of plans, weight watchers, calorie counting, calorie restricting, and 5:2. I have been successful, but never able to maintain,the most I ever lost was when I counted calories and I lost about 65lbs over the course of a summer ( I still had way more to lose). So here I am, starting it again, but this time I signed up for BeachBody. Since I haven’t even gotten my starter kit, I’m just waiting and then when I learn more, I’ll share more. There still a lot to know about me, but I have a feeling that it’ll all come out slowly, because I really want to keep this blog alive, I want to succeed and I want to be healthy and actually LIVE, because I’m trapped in a 27 year old body, that has been barely surviving.
So, now that I got that out, lets talk about rock bottom. I joined a dietbet, thinking yup I can do this, I wont loose my money, I’ve just gotta get rid of 15lbs. Yeah. Well I had already decided I was failing that after the first week and a half. I’m a food addict, I overeat and I am morbidly obese. I am not proud of this, its just a matter of fact about me. So since the dietbet, I have been eat boxes of Mac and cheese (a whole box at a time), and eating pints of ice cream, getting candy, chips, and just over doing the food, thinking oh it’s just one day I can eat this entire box of delicious gooey Mac and cheese. Well here comes Friday, I had Thursday off and kicked ass cleaning, so naturally I’m going to get my Mac and cheese and I’m going to love it. Well first off, I ordered my BeachBody pack and then I was like okay, time to go to the store. I go to the dollar store and find my Mac and cheese, but I really wanted hot dogs... oh and before that i already decided I need a pint of ice cream because I couldn’t eat the one I already bought because I didn’t want my sister to know I was eating the ENTIRE thing. So now I want hot dogs, but they looked nasty, so no thanks, I’m cruising the frozen food and there are some pizza rolls, perfect, also don’t forget the soda. I go home and I whip up my box of deluxe kraft Mac and cheese, my 15 pizza rolls and my soda (Ice cream in the freezer). I start eating it, and I’m full and just cant eat like the half of cup of pasta thats left, but no worries I will find the will to shove the ice cream down because I cannot have my sister knowing that i have that and ate it. So I finish eating, do the dishes, hide the trash because there can’t be evidence (do you see this pattern) and I decided I need to shower. At this rate my stomach is hurting, I’m nauseous and not okay, but I need to work that night and i need to sleep. So what happens- I’m in the shower and I decided this isn’t going to get better, I need to puke, now I hate puking so I wouldn’t have done it if my body wasn’t telling me too, so I get out of the shower and I puke it all up, ice cream and Mac and cheese, let’s talk about disgusting and as I’m leaning over the toilet, puke splashing everywhere, I’m thinking wow Catherine, how low can you get, how much can you shove into your body before you decided that its too much. I can honestly say, I never purged before, I have binged, but never enough to make me puke, it was a first and hopefully a last.
So here we are, I have been dying to write that post, I have been harboring it in me for a couple days now. No one knows it happened, I feel utterly depressed it happened and my mental health has been struggling. Once again, here we are.... here I am... its time to make a difference.... it’s time to change because I cannot be this unhealthy anymore..... I cannot weight over 360lbs at the heights 5’2”.... I need to do better for myself..... I need to be happy, healthy and not stuck in this fat suit.
Hope you stick around, or if you are just stumbling onto this blog, hope you find something out of it.
Catherine Ann (a girl barely alive).
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